ETENDRE

So much random bullshit.

I guess now we know what people are doing with all the guns bought during the pandemic. As restrictions ease, shootings everyday everywhere of every sort of person you could imagine.

A certain conservative talking head continues to use the word metastisize in describing the Maricopa County election audit as though it has a positive connotation. I don’t think that word means what he thinks it means. I mean yes, it does mean spread, but most people associate it with the lethal spread of cancer in the body. In this instance, I guess for once he’s telling the truth, but I don’t think it’s a truth he meant to tell.

I can’t pretend I have a deep understanding of the politics of the United Kingdom, but it seems to me that if you are the architect, or one of the architects of Brexit you would want to reap the rewards or swan around enjoying the fruit of your success. Afterall, the UK did indeed Brexit. Instead, for some bizarre reason, Nigel Farage is popping up all over the United States, doing a speaking tour apparently. I guess he’s been here for six weeks then he ‘s going home and returning in July. Umm….I guess there’s a feeling that certain conservative nonsense sounds better with an English accent? Sure we are allies with the UK, but is it at all ironic that his main audience is the #1776 crowd?

Populism, Yay?
Photo by Mike from Pexels

It’s also amusing (very, very lower case amusing), that the same people who are populism, populism populism, and think the Republican party can remake itself as champions of the American worker can’t seem to bring themselves to support an increase in the minimum wage, but do support the less than nuanced narrative certain jobs are going unfilled because people are being ‘paid to not to work’.

If you listen closely, underneath the ‘paid not to work’ complaining you can hear the age old anyone that actually needs and receives financial help must be lazy. This chestnut designed to either discourage or prevent any sort of help that involves the actual money people need is barely, thinly disguised. For people who want to be a worker’s party, it might be nice if they remembered that millions of people were thrown out of work without notice, lost health insurance during a global health disaster, and faced eviction.

More than one Republican congressperson/state leader has mentioned talking to local businessowners about their pandemic related hiring issues. Missing from their telling? Having spoken to anyone who would be doing the actual work. If you want to be a party for working people, you actually have to talk to working people. In place of that we are to Jaime Dimon of JP Morgan Chase’s hot take on why some workers may not return to their jobs. Or aren’t returning as quickly as the boss class would like? Would these be the same workers who were shown pretty definitively that they had the kinds of jobs that in certain crises were either temporarily expendable, or permanently disappeared from the landscape.

Two or so hours before I was to report to one of my jobs (I’ll get to the other one later) on March 12, 2020, I found out that we would be closed for quarantine lockdown, indefinitely. That was fourteen months ago.

A pandemic is a disaster, and there are other potential disasters on the horizon. Should California, for example, have the Big One, how necessary will the local nail salon be. How many restaurants would structurally survive well enough to stay open and need staff? Perhaps people ‘don’t feel like going to work’, or perhaps people in certain industries have seen all kinds of writing on the wall, and understand more clearly how their specific job fits into the American employment hierarchy. Workers have the agency and the right to make adjustments that will benefit them and their families in the long run. Some employers will reap the reward of that, others won’t.

I have been fortunate not to have been financially devastated by the pandemic. I was kept whole by the enhanced/extended unemployment as it was intended. I was fully eligible to receive regular employment benefits because of the state mandated shutdown of my workplace, however my second job remained up and running part-time. With unemployment insurance, what you earn each week is substracted from the regular weekly unemployment payment. For me that meant the total amount of regular unemployment insurance I was scheduled to receive, once what I earned each week was substracted was essentially nullified. The enhancement replaced the nullified state unemployment. Without it my regular income would have been cut in half these last 14 months. The enhanced unemployment has allowed me to wait until I could be recalled to the job that was shutdown March 2020. I have received a return date, let the employer know I intend to return, however the return date is still two months away.

Fortunately, my state has not jumped on the punish pandemic victims bandwagon.

Delusion

Delusions are defined as fixed, false beliefs that conflict with reality. Despite contrary evidence, a person in a delusional state can’t let go of these convictions.1

Delusions are often reinforced by the misinterpretation of events. Many delusions also involve some level of paranoia.

Very WEll Mind.com: What is a delusion?

I am currently watching Matt Gaetz give a speech at his ‘America First’ nonsense in Arizona. I know, I know. I thought after the second impeachment hearing I would stop watching conservative media. If not all together, at least in part. But nope, still watching. I’m still waiting for the denouement, for the the perp walks. Most of my attention is focused on ‘Real’ America’s Voice. Some of the talking heads I think are legit true believers which is a whole other conversation, but others like Bannon and Ellis I think are plain old con men/women. I’m just waiting for the incarceration shoe to drop.

Many of these people, like Gaetz don’t seem particularly bright. Opportunist yes, bright not so much. Listening to him right now, it sounds as though he really thinks he’s going to be president one day. Granted failing upwards has been very in vogue these last few years, but Representative Gaetz is delusional. As is his co-hort Margorie Taylor Greene. Representative Ocasio-Cortez is a better person than I am. I would have gotten a restraining order by now. Certainly you don’t want to give someone like Greene more talking points, but I would definitely want to maintain a perimeter between me and the ‘deeply unwell’.

Perhaps the other thing I’m holding out for is say Dr. Gina of ‘Real’ America’s Voice for example, to realize they are in the throes of a delusion. The delusion only allows them to see the most polly-annish version of America and its history. To sustain the delusion requires the denial of the experiences and history of millions of Americans, and what they can see with their own eyes.

What else could make people who appear able to dress and feed themselves put forth ideas like the Capitol riot was merely a tourist’s day out. Or that Ashlii Babbitt was a victim deserving some sort of justice. Or that a man with a gold toilet and trophy wives cares anything about working men or women beyond how their adulation can be translated into his personal gain.

I’ve made it this far into the movie, I’m crossing my fingers there will be a crashtastic payoff.

Denouement

Denouement

Image result for Oh okay gif

Oh…so that’s what happens when a bunch of stochastic terrorists walk into a bar.

What would make Black Lives Matter go away? Law enforcement no longer murdering and maiming unarmed black, brown, poor people then claiming self defense/fear for their lives. See, not so hard and a tangible, achievable solution. What would make Trump supporters go away? Trump installed in the presidency, and Mike Pence hanged apparently. Irrational, unachievable – sedition.

One of these things is really not at all like the other, but you wouldn’t know that from NewsMax and America’s Voice Network who have spent the week conflating Trump supporters overrunning the Capitol while Congress was in session with Black Lives Matter protests of the past summer. I would have included OANN, except either I’m tuning in at the wrong time, or that network hasn’t updated their programming since January 5th. The show hosted by Alex Salvii on Saturday was still talking about the what could happen on January 6th. Which of course is kind of amusing to watch in a how it started versus how it’s going way.

Fox has also been guilty of this through the usual suspects Carlson, Hannity, Ingraham, Dobbs with a healthy side dose of patting themselves on the back for condemning the violence. The condemnations have essentially been lip service, an opportunity to pivot to talking points about how bad the Black Lives Matter protests were while erroneously and consistently mentioning BLM protestors in the same breath as anti-fascists protestors to give the impression it is one monolith organization.

It’s a pretty transparent attempt to minimalize and demonize BLM instead of dealing with the fact Donald Trump’s occupancy of the White House has emboldened white supremacists, neo-Nazis and all their bretheren.

‘What are we supposed to do?’: Rioter speaks to CNN reporter

You’d think that as you were standing amidst an insurrection you support in front of the nation’s Capitol, echoing almost verbatim the concerns of Black Lives Matter advocates in not feeling represented or heard, and at your wits end, a little light bulb would go off, but no. I guess the neo-nazi, white nationalist darkness in your head is so pervasive no light can shine through.

With the taking down of many Trump leaning propagandists’ conspiracy social media accounts including the president’s in recent days, some whining left behind sympathizers, have asserted that the takedowns are because the rest of us are scared of what they have to say. I can’t speak for everyone, but I have no fear of what they have to say. After four years and some change of the ignorance, the denial and the delusion I would just like them to go away. I am not scared, I am tired. Tired of the idea that Donald Trump is someone other than who he has always been, and now I would like him to go away and take his delusional supporters and grifting enablers with him.

Ten days left is not a lot of time to make him go away, but imagine how glorious it will be if he could never run for office again. What a relief to be able to start implementation of an actual national Covid mitigation/vaccination plan. Even if it was only two days sooner. A two day Mike Pence presidency focused on Covid, working in conjunction with president-elect Biden, would save lives. The 45th president sitting in the White House allowed to pout and wallow for the next ten days, does nothing for anyone. At last, the time to go has arrived.

Evil Redux

Evil Redux

‘Whichever definition of evil you choose, on January 20th[2017] evil will take control of the highest office in the United States. What are good people going to do?” – Me, Four years ago

Tragically, nothing has happened in the last four years to make me re-think the sentiment I posted four years ago, days before the 45th president of the United States was to be inaugurated. The last four years has given my fellow Americans plenty of opportunity to step up and show their goodness…or evil.

“When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time.”


― Maya Angelou

“Is anyone archiving these Trump sycophants for when they try to downplay or deny their complicity in the future? I foresee decent probability of many deleted Tweets, writings, photos in the future”

  • Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

Some conservative politicians, talking heads, etc… have made much of (whined about) Representative Ocasio-Cortez calling on us to remember where our elected officials stood during the administration of the 45th president, likening it to McCarthy era blacklisting. Politicians like Ted Cruz, Devin Nunes and Lindsey Graham have been loud and proud these last four years in their support of the president’s consistently untenable behavior. Not to mention the list of yahoos about to What Rep. Ocasio-Cortez has called for is simply a re-phrasing of Maya Angelou’s quote.

Why shouldn’t there be consequences? Why wouldn’t good people remember the enablers who allowed so much deadly dereliction of duty? That we are careening toward 400,000 American souls gone as a result of the Covid-19 pandemic is the period at the end of this devastating four year sentence.

Thank God it’s almost over.

Epilogue 2020

Epilogue 2020

Oh, the irony of people who don’t think there is any such thing as privilege doing their level best to install a man in the presidency of the United States who was not elected to that position.

American citizens protesting the murder of unarmed fellow citizens in the streets, their homes and garages by people acting under the color of authority are tone policed and asked to change their rhertoric into something nicer and more palatable, never mind the Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. liberally quoted the Bible in pursuit of civil rights, encouraged non-violent protesting and was murdered in broad daylight.

Meanwhile, another group of Americans, upset that their candidate did not win presidential re-election, have spent the last two months freely shopping around for a method to overcome what voters have decided. Simultaneously, conservative talk shows like Steve Bannon’s War Room on America’s Voice are hyping up his followers with the insistence they have been robbed, even though simple math indicates otherwise. As does common sense. A president disinterested in the deaths of over a quarter million Americans on his watch is a president voters aren’t likely to reward with a second term.

A fair number of white men (there are some BIMOC), but for the most part, based on having watched programming on America’s Voice News, OAN and NewsMax in the last 2 months, the talking heads are primarily white men, also see for reference Hawley, Cruz et al, have imprinted on Donald Trump like baby ducklings. How you imprint on an abyss is beyond me, but here we are.

Steve Bannon also weirdly rails against oligarchs while the intros and outros for the segments on his show are bracketed by exiled Chinese national/billionaire Guo Wengui’s, anti-Communist China vanity rap. In the spirit of making assertions without evidence, I’ve decided to believe that America’s Voice is not supported by viewers as they claim, but in fact are supported by Guo Wengui. Afterall, Bannon is currently under indictment for fraud (at least he’s on brand), and when arrested on these charges he was hanging out on Guo Wengui’s yacht.

Banging on about populism while chilling on your billionaire BFF’s yacht is a choice, and also probably an indication of Bannon’s profound duplicity. The billionaire finances either Bannon’s show specifically or the entirety of the America’s Voice channel which allows Bannon and company to pocket the money everyday people do donate. I don’t have any hard evidence for this assertion, but it sounds true to me, and for a certain segment of the population that is enough.

What is currently happening on these assorted conservative broadcast channels and sites like Breitbart would be fine, citizens exercising their freedom of speech, with a side of mealy mouthed complaining about not having freedom of speech, except they’ve left those who believe the hype without a graceful off-ramp out of Crazytown. After having been told for months the evil communist, socialist probably pedophilic Democrats are coming for them and their loved ones, what are the true believers supposed to do when President-elect Joe Biden is inaugurated January 20th? Stochastic terrorism anyone? A blown up RV on a Nashville street may be the least of it.

Asymptomatic

Asymptomatic

white space ship and brown planet

Photo by SpaceX on Pexels.com

This afternoon, I watched the SpaceX launch of the first, commercial peopled rocket this afternoon even though I don’t care anything about space travel. I wish godspeed to the Dragon crew and a safe launch, docking and re-entry. Who wouldn’t? No one wants to see any of those mission end in a fiery ball.

I also see just about all of the blockbuster scifi/space movies, except for the Star Wars franchise, which is a whole other post. My favorite is The Martian with Matt Damon, although I think the idea of colonies on Mars is odious. The appeal of The Martian has more to do with the challenge of overcoming a situation that’s fucked six ways to Sunday more than anything to do with space. To ‘science the shit’ out of something, or MacGyver the shit, Oprah the shit, you get the idea. It appeals to that whole American can do, which obviously the race for space does as well. And yet, going to Mars, or any other planet, or the Moon, do not care. Brad Pitt’s Ad Astra in both tone and text probably best sum up my feelings about space travel. On his way to the Moon, where apparently  a colony has been established, before continuing his mission to unfuck something in space, because of course. Something has always either already gone wrong in space, or is about to go wrong. Before Pitt’s character gets to the what’s gone wrong part of the movie, there is a sort of not so subtle nod to what has already gone wrong, and what will only get worse with commercial space travel as a reality.  En route to the Moon, the ‘flight attendant’ offers Pitt’s character a blanket. He accepts. Cost of the blanket, $1,000. Perhaps that’s the roundtrip price.

Accompanying the launch today was quite a bit of emotion from the layperson and astronaut commentators alike on ABC News. I was even a little teary eyed, because again who wants to see people blown up in front of their families? There was quite a lot of platitudinous talk about what humans can accomplish, about taking a break to look up instead of down at the awfulness of this week in particular where a man, under color of authority, murdered George Floyd in broad daylight and all things pandemic in general. There was also non-ironic rhapsodizing about colonizing space although colonization seems to have not ever worked out for indigenous life.

This combines with the sentiment of earlier in the week (and any week of some awful human behavior) from elected officials like California Gov. Newsom, trying to affirm the idea that this is not who we are. What the Governor said was sincere and heartfelt, but perhaps the more honest affirmation would be to acknowledge this is exactly who we are, BUT, we must work every day and every generation not to let it take permanent hold. We are people who murder in the street, in cold blood, in broad daylight. We are people who take up arms to balk at and refuse to take precautionary measures to save the lives of others in a pandemic. We assault and murder store employees who ask us to wear masks.

We must come to terms with what the pandemic in particular has revealed. There are quite a lot of assholes on earth. It would be nice to exclude them from the ‘we’, but they are everywhere, including space exploration.

We like to think of ourselves as the hero running around unfucking things, but there are so many more of us that the audience wants stomped by the dinosaur, hit by a meteor or floated out of the nearest airlock. As the refrain goes in The Adventures of Buckaroo Bonzai, which I have probably referenced before, because I think about it a lot, ‘where ever you go there you are’.

We can look up, but we take the mess down here on the ground with us. Colonize space when we’ve yet to fully come to terms with what colonization, Manifest Destiny and want, take have have done on Earth? Yes NASA is on board, but that Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos are at the forefront of the commercial space race, when Musk was upset about pandemic precautions and Bezos is routinely excoriated for how Amazon employees are treated in the workplace, that brand of looking up is more like looking away. Perhaps when there’s nothing to look away from, I will get excited about today’s mission and talk about life on Mars and Martian colonies, but today is not that day.

 

 

(note: post was written 5/30/2020, but edited and posted 5/31/2020 – where now in the midst of a pandemic in my city, we are also under an 8:00PM curfew because of protests and the National Guard had been called)

 

Interstitial

As I listen to anchors and contributors on MSNBC and CNN describe the Republican senators as unable to stand up to the president because they are afraid of being name called in public or campaigned against (head on a pike), all I can think is what the actual hell or fuck, but I am trying to keep it clean.

It is particularly galling during Black History Month. So many Americans, who had their lives to lose, stood up to police dogs, hoses, batons, and the in your face jeers of their fellow citizens to protest against Jim Crow and segregation. Freedom Riders and civil rights activists and children met violent deaths, but everyday Americans still stood up.

45’s declaration notwithstanding, Republican senator’s aren’t going to be shot or lynched for their trouble.

From the slaves who ran away and the Quakers who became abolitionist, to Floyd Mann who intervened to save the lives of Freedom Riders, would that the Republican senators could have looked to these people to find some sort of intestinal fortitude.

floyd-mann-21388891-1-402

And given these examples of bravery, this coddling of these senators with the will they or won’t they, I am looking at you Susan Collins is, to quote, ‘bullshit’. I mean if we really want to talk about ‘bullshit’.

I appreciate what Senator Romney did, and I have gone to his official site contact page to say so. There is nothing good to be said about his colleagues choice to lean into gutlessness. If they can’t look to our history to figure out how to overcome, perhaps Senator Romney’s display of a backbone can put them on that road.

Faux Pas

Faux Pas

This is a bit of a placeholder because I hadn’t decided what specifically to write here after being so long away, but then…

I am not much of a baker, but I can certainly follow a recipe. The first cake I made looked a little like one of the cellulose sponges you can get at Bed Bath & Beyond. Of course, a little chocolate frosting on the chocolate cake would fix that right up. I frosted the cake, then put a slice of cake in my mouth, then did a spit take across the kitchen. The cake was objectively awful. I retraced the recipe steps to see what had gone wrong. Seems I’d used baking soda instead of baking powder. I made a mistake.

If you grab someone by the hand, arm or any part of their body, drag them from a place with many people to a less crowded place, try to take off their clothes against their will and make them fear for their lives that is not a mistake. That’s a series of deliberate assaultive acts.

If I were to think of a more charitable explanation, it could be you mistakenly grabbed someone you thought was your significant other or friend and preceded from there. Although, one would hope if your significant other or friend was trying to pull away or struggling against you, you would check in with them to make sure they wanted to continue the ‘roughhousing’, or the euphemism of your choice.

While this would seem to be about the cluster fuck that calls itself the Judiciary Committee, it is instead about the things that are cluster fuck adjacent. On Thursday, September 20, CNN had a group of five on to have a conversation about the issue of the day. I was in and out of the room at the beginning so I missed their bonafides. (I found the clip on CNN’s site, but haven’t bothered to watch it to get their bonafides.  I’ve seen enough.)

In the course of the conversation, one was identified as a Republican, another woman was wearing a fairly large cross. I feel confident in assuming it was a group of Republican and/or conservative women. I am guessing these women are also under the misapprehension that they are good people.

Because I missed their bonafides, I am also not sure whether any of the women participating in the discussion are parents. If they are, whether to boys or girls, they are doing their children a terrible disservice. Not only are they hideous parents, but their hideousness is now public. When presented with the scenario of a seventeen year old boy attacking a teenage girl, they were inclined to give the boy a pass for varying reasons ranging from,  well if it was just the once and he hadn’t done anything else like that ever again to we all make mistakes. They conveniently ignore there is another person on the other side of the equation so those caveats sort of look like – well you’re the only person he tried to rape, so…. or  it was a mistake why are you making such a big deal.

Perhaps down the line when someone explains to them what a rape apologist is, they will declare that they made a mistake.

It is amazing how many people don’t know the difference between a mistake – I put baking soda in a cake instead of baking powder – , and the deliberate – I am trying to take your clothes off against your will/ignoring your attempts to stop me.

These women believe they are good citizens. Make no mistake, that could not be farther from the truth.

GOP Women: I Believe Kavanaugh

Randi Kaye talks to republican women in Florida.

Sorority

Sorority

With so many awful things happening in the world over the last seven months it’s a little daunting narrowing down a subject for this post, so I’ll simply go with the literal news of the day. Earlier today, comedian Louis C.K., who was accused Thursday of harassing female colleagues with requests to masturbate in front of them, released a statement affirming the truth of the allegations. Whew.

Given the statements of others who have been accused of varying degrees of reprehensible sexual assault and misconduct in the last months, this seems like a breath of fresh air. If we were to give brownie points for the most ‘woke’ sexual predator, I suppose he wins since he didn’t immediately gaslight victims, then go off to rehab. The statement goes on the mention his actions were wrong because (paraphrasing) even though he asked permission, his position of power made it wrong. Yes, and no? I’ll get back to that.

I have worked in the entertainment industry, and I have been fortunate to work with decent people. At least as far as I know, which is one of the sad reminders of these recent sexual assault and harassment revelations, monsters don’t always show the same face to everyone.

The only truly uncomfortable/ridiculous experience I had was when a women in a management position asked me to wear (more) makeup at the behest of her male boss. If I recall correctly the talk included discussion about lip gloss, since that was the only sort of ‘makeup’ I wore at the time. I wasn’t going to honor that request, but it gave me a clearer picture of who I was working for and foreshadowed that particular association probably wasn’t going to last long. It didn’t. Hopefully, since both of those people are still very actively involved in the film business, their sexism never escalated to more, truly egregious requests. It is disgusting that others with hopes and dreams of film/tv careers have had their aspirations turned against them.

But what I learned later in life, too late, is that when you have power over another person, asking them to look at your dick isn’t a question. It’s a predicament for them.” From Louis C.K.’s statement 11/10/17 Louis C.K.’s Full Statement

Given that his statement is better than the others who have high-tailed it to rehab, it might seem a pile on to parse his language, but…The comedian is a fifty year old adult. Certainly, as he states having power over a person and asking them to look at your penis is a problem, but I have trouble believing he hadn’t known that it was a problem prior to the 2000s.

Is there somewhere that men/boys are taught it is okay to ask girls/women you know primarily in a platonic school/work related capacity to look at your penis while you masturbate. It’s not merely a ‘predicament’ it’s an unwanted, intrusive violation in your life and of your space whether the person has power or is your de facto co-equal.

I encountered that ‘predicament’ as a young adult late one night while waiting for the 200 line alone, on the not particularly well-lit corner of Sunset and Alvarado in Los Angeles. When I saw a man approach in my peripheral I had the twin thoughts women often do in these situations, good I’m not by myself out here anymore and oh, hope he’s not a nut. Unfortunately, like the comedian, I guess he hadn’t yet learned not to put women in a ‘predicament’.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see him making a repetitive movement with his arm. My initial response was to ignore him, but because I could tell he was doing something I decided I should just take a quick look to the side to make sure he wasn’t going to stab me. He didn’t have a knife, but he was masturbating with his penis fully out of his pants. My ‘predicament’ was how to get assistance since it was late at night, with no other foot traffic.

It was pre current technology, so no app to pinpoint when exactly the the 200 line would arrive, and actually no such thing as a smart phone to facilitate the app or to call 911 from where I stood. There was a payphone next to the food place at that same corner, but I was concerned he would follow me and possibly corner me at the phone or on the way to the phone. What if the bus came while I was on the phone? If you’ve ridden pubic transport, especially in the later hours, you’ve experienced bus drivers speeding by the stop if they don’t immediately see potential passengers. I was afraid of being stranded.

I triaged the situation green I was concerned if I moved it would somehow escalate because when I first realized what was happening, I moved a little away and it seemed he moved with me. I decided to stay where I was. As long as he didn’t try to touch me, it would be okay. The bus would come, then I would be on my way to safety. The 200 came, but not before he did. I triaged again as to whether or not to say anything to the driver. Red, if the guy got on the bus. I think he did, but I did not say anything to the driver. Surrounded by more people I was safe. It was over.

While waiting, I had a copy of A Tale of Two Cities in my hand. I discovered later that even though I was untouched, the book didn’t get away unscathed. Although I still have the book,  I will never read that particular copy of Dickens. What was left behind was a little too much to make that possible, but probably not enough and too degraded to be useful all these years later.  At this point, it looks like I will also never throw the book away. It is somewhere in my apartment, probably in a box. I am still resentful that I would have to get rid of something I love because of the intrusion of an awful stranger into my life.

Both the comedian’s actions and statement suggest that he has only really understood these things on a very surface level. He knows consent is important in a sexual situation so he asked permission, not understanding that trying to turn what his colleagues describe as a work or work related environment into a sexual situation, without any prior indication the women would be on board with that, is the problem. It’s not just a problem of power. In a previously released conversation, he cited mistakenly reading situations. Sure, I guess that’s the problem the guy at the bus stop had too.

Now, there are articles about the whys of men and public masturbation. I have not read those articles, but I will summarize. Because they can. The end.